


stalling just a little

by ourdarkspirits



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, Gift Giving, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 23:12:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5559353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourdarkspirits/pseuds/ourdarkspirits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thanks to a misunderstanding, Lily goes in search of James, hoping to make things better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	stalling just a little

**Author's Note:**

> Written for deducing-nerds for the Jily Secret Santa on tumblr.

If someone had told Lily in fifth year that she’d be in this current predicament, she’d have thought they had been confunded.  Two years later, she was actively and willingly looking for Remus Lupin or Sirius Black or Peter Pettigrew.  Any of them would be easier to find than the currently elusive James Potter.  Well, Remus wasn’t so much of a surprise.  She had been friends with him for a few years now.  Sirius and Peter were a different story altogether. 

 

She wasn’t exactly sure what had gone wrong.  At the beginning of the school year, she and James had decided that a Secret Santa gift exchange among the prefects would be a good plan for the end of term.  It would be in addition to Slughorn’s party, and she had had no doubt that it would be much more fun and less stuffy.  Now, it seemed they might have been wrong, and she needed to talk to James before they all went home for Christmas hols.  

 

She had drawn James’s name for the exchange and had been happy about it.  They had become friends over the course of the term.  It had been inevitable given how much time they spent working together and she was happy to be getting him a gift.  

 

He had asked her if she wanted to go with him on the last Hogsmeade weekend of the term and she had turned him down.

 

_ “Sorry, James.  I’ve got to do some Christmas shopping.” _

 

She had said it with a smile.  It hadn’t really occurred to her at the time what he was really asking her.  Afterwards he hadn’t spoken much to her and it was weird.  There had been less of the easy banter that had come to characterize their relationship and he was distant. Still, she hadn’t thought a lot about it.  What with the end of term coming up and last minute assignments to finish, and extra duties for the Heads and the prefects, she had been more than a little preoccupied.  

 

On the night of the party everything had gone well until the gift exchange.  James had drawn Kingsley Shacklebolt, a fifth year Gryffindor.  A sixth year Ravenclaw had drawn her name.  She ended up giving her gift last.  Lily was about to give it to him when he made eye contact with her and walked right out of the room.  

 

Her cheeks had burned as she avoided everyone’s eyes.  Remus left after James, and she waited just a little longer before leaving as well.  She didn’t find either boy, and perhaps it was for the best.  Except now she still had James’s gift and no idea where to find him.  So she was looking for any of the others.  

 

She found Sirius first.  Judging by where he she found him, she was pretty sure he’d just come from the kitchens.

 

“Oi! Black!” Lily shouted. 

 

Sirius frowned at her, but not so much out of any ill will so much as if she were some kind of difficult problem.  

 

“What is it, Evans?” he asked.  Lily had a feeling he knew though.  He just wanted her to say it.  

 

“I’m looking for James,” she explained.  

 

“Yeah, I figured,” Sirius responded.  It wasn’t all like him.  She had been expected mock indignation that she wasn’t looking for him.  Not, “Are you sure you want to go looking for him though?”

 

“Of course I’m sure,” Lily answered indignantly, annoyed that she needed to defend herself.  “I wouldn’t be looking for him if I wasn’t sure.”

 

“It’s just,” Sirius looked at her thoughtfully, “He really doesn’t want to see you.”

 

Lily huffed and rolled her eyes but Sirius continued, “Look, he’s my best mate, and I want to be damn sure I’m doing the right thing, by helping you out.”

 

“He’s my friend, too,” Lily answered after a moment’s pause.  “I want to make things right.”

 

Sirius let out a little huff.  After a few moments where he didn’t exactly meet her gaze, he gave in, “He said he was going up to the owlery.”

 

“Thanks, Sirius,” Lily said, and then ran off towards the owlery.  

 

She found him there a few minutes later, when she burst through the door red in the face and out of breath.  He was staring out over the grounds looking morose and she couldn’t resist a quip.

 

“Looking rather Byronic, Potter.”

 

“Listen, Evans,” he started and then, looking confused, said, “Wait, what? Byronic?”

 

Lily waved him off, still catching her breath, “Romantic, British poet.  Known for being dark and brooding and mopey.”  

 

This was not going how she’d wanted.  She had meant to get to the bottom of whatever was going on, give him his present, and get back to how things were.  Instead she was flushed and out of breath and making idiotic quips about Romantic poets James knew nothing about.

 

“Right,” James muttered, “What are you doing here, Evans?”

 

“I wanted to talk to you,” Lily said, her breathing finally getting back to normal, and her temper mounting. 

 

“I don’t want to talk,” James retorted.  “It’s why I was avoiding you.”

 

Lily took a moment before answering in a calm voice, “We need to talk, James.”

 

“Look, Lily, I’m sorry, alright?” He burst out. “I’m sorry I walked out on you.  I’m sorry I embarrassed you or whatever.  Is that what you want?”

 

“No,” Lily shouted.  She hadn’t wanted to end up in a row.  She had thought they had gotten past that but here they were, shouting at each other.  “I don’t want your apology!  I want my friend back.”  She paused, and then added, “And I wanted to give you this.”

 

She pulled the gift out from her robes and held it out to him.  James didn’t take it so she set it on the niche in the stone wall next to her.  And then it dawned on her.

 

“I didn’t say no because I didn’t want to go with you,” she said, quieter now, “I said no because I wanted to get this for you.”

 

“It’s fine, Evans,” James said with a sigh.  “I thought, maybe this time, now that I’m maybe a bit more mature than I was at the end of fifth year, well, I could try again.”

 

“Oh,” was all Lily could say.  She silently berated herself for not being any more articulate than that.  

 

“I get it now,” James went on, ignoring her, “and it’s fine.  It really is.  You’re a good friend and that’s fine.”

 

“James,” Lily stopped him and he looked at her expectantly.  She was thinking fast, had been ever since she had figured it out.  It was obvious now. She understood.  He had gotten there a little bit before her, but if she looked back on it, that’s where they had been going all this time and she found she didn’t mind at all.  “Listen to me.  I didn’t realize.  I didn’t realize what you were asking me.  I was caught up in my idea.  If you asked me again, I’d say yes.”

 

James scoffed, but she stepped closer and his eyes widened but he didn’t step away, so she moved a little closer still. 

 

“But you’re not going to ask me,” she said as the realization dawned on her.  “Ok.  I’ll ask you.  Are you doing anything for New Year’s?”

 

“Lily,” James started.

 

“I’m being serious, Potter,” she cut him off, a smile on her lips.

 

She could see an answering smile growing on his face and then he said, “Funny, you don’t look like my best mate.”

 

“James,” she groaned, hitting him lightly on the chest.  

 

He pulled her towards him, and tried again, “I don’t know, Evans.  I might have plans.  Some other bird asked me, you see.”

 

“So that’s a yes then,” Lily interrupted.

 

“I don’t know,” James hedged.  “It might depend on this present you were so intent on giving me.”

 

“Hmm, I’m not so sure I want to give it to you now,” Lily answered. “Maybe if you say yes, I’ll give it to you New Year’s.”

 

It was good to have this back, to have James back, who teased her and joked with her.  They were both still standing just slightly on edge, knowing what was coming, not sure who was going to take that last step, stalling just a little.  

 

“Aw, come on, Evans,” James cajoled her.  Lily stepped back reluctantly and grabbed the gift.  

 

“Here,” she handed it to him.  He opened it and didn’t say anything for a moment.  Lily was beginning to wonder if she had made a mistake.  Maybe her idea hadn’t been that great.  She felt compelled to fill the silence, “It’s just something Remus said.  I thought-- if it’s stupid--”

 

“It’s not,” James looked up with a bright grin, holding up the bottle of Sleakeazy potion.  “It’s not.  Lily, it’s perfect.”  

 

He began to laugh then, and she understood that he had been holding back laughter.  

 

“Yeah?” she asked, the smile coming back.  

 

“Yeah, but I’m never gonna use it,” James answered and he pulled Lily to him and kissed her, one hand resting on her hip, the other going to her hair.  After a moment James pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, his hand still caught in her hair.

 

“Oh, and I am free for New Year’s,” he murmured.

 

Lily kissed James again, the smile growing on her lips.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> Extra points for anyone who notices the slightly un-intentional Star Wars reference in there.


End file.
